Yesterday I woke from a dream,
I was in my childhood home, I was being shown around
People were waiting for me to arrive as they wanted to show me where I once lived,
where we ALL had once lived.
At first, when I woke up, I couldn’t understand why the viewing
was so significant.
What was it that I was being asked to see?
A rush of sadness, grief, a pain so strong it rendered me
breathless
in that moment I realised,
this was not just my pain.
This was the collective pain of my immediate family that I was carrying. This home was the last time we all resided together in happiness before life got harder for all of us
and I realised
I am not healed.
Not yet, all of the pain and suffering is grief – for that lost life.
That lost family
that is now ME,
only me
But..
I am not the only one feeling the pain of that loss.
They all felt it too
and that deep pain is also my power.
This was yesterday
A few days ago I was woken by the storms during the night.
A face, the essence and remembrance of a guy I used to be friends with many years ago, was right there in front of me.
A greeting from the past that I felt confused by as it felt significant
but I was unsure why
The next morning I found out that he had died during the night.
Five nights ago, as I was reading AWE a book on the
spiritual power of Automatic Writing,
my attention turned to my bookcase and my eyes rested upon a
dusty Angel deck I’ve not used in a while by Kyle Grey
I picked it up, intending to use it after I’d read some more.
On the very next page the author spoke of his interview with the
Angel guy Kyle Grey.
Up until this point in the book there had been no mention of
oracle decks, angels or anything even remotely tied to this.
The author is based in US the guy Kyle Grey is from my home
town Glasgow and lives some 20 mins from my home.
I took it as a sign to use the deck.
I shuffled the cards and asked my question to the deck, I reached
out to turn one card over and a voice said
‘this card says NO’
I turned the card over and it was the
‘no’ card
Maybe I don’t need the deck after all, I thought.
Last month after my daughter watched Encanto, she kept singing the Song We Don’t talk about Bruno and had asked a few times
‘Mummy why don’t we talk about Bruno?’.
I really didn’t know how to answer, I hadn’t really grasped that part of the storyline.
Over that same week period I had noticed that at times I have a pattern in life whereby I see or sense something is going to happen but not far enough in advance to process it or change it.
Then if it’s something bad I feel guilty.
Later the same week, I was telling my Guide and Mentor this and she started to sing
“We don’t talk about Bruno”
I froze,
Why are you singing that I asked?
She said ‘the movie, Encanto, in it Bruno sees the future and is
banished as the family thinks he’s causing the stuff to happen
and he’s not.’
Tonight I joined a call, a support group of beautiful souls on a
journaling, healing journey.
For the first time I felt I wanted to simply sit back and listen, really listen to the stories of others.
Without sharing too much or connecting too much.
I began to feel the connections, the stories, the truth behind
every word spoken and unspoken.
I began to see the interconnectivity between all of us.
the reason behind this knowing. I sensed that in each sharing
lay an answer to something I was experiencing and feeling.
Each response of support, a balm for me as well as for them,
am I going through
ALL of this I thought?
No the voice said.
Not directly, but really you are.
WE ARE ALL ONE – I am writing this sentence but its more
I felt this rather than ‘ heard’ it.
Finally, lost for words.
It’s now very late at night
I knew I had to capture all of this in case I go to sleep and it’s lost.
